60 Shark Jokes and Puns to Scare The Fish Out of You

Did you know that scientists believe that sharks have been around for more than 400 million years—before the trees and dinosaurs?

Sharks have evolved into around 500 species that come in different sizes and even personalities.

These fascinating animals can be funny – but only when they are not really around.

If you find our shark jokes and puns amusing, check out our collection of fish puns, you can get some laughs from them for sure.

Let’s jump right into the shark jokes net!

shark jokes and puns for you and your kids

Shark Jokes & Puns

1. What’s a shark’s favorite Bible story?

The one about Noah’s shark!

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2. What did the shark say after he was accused of eating a human?

Not gill-ty!

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3. What was the shark’s favorite movie?

Eating Nemo!

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4. What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?

Frostbite!

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5. What sort of fish operates on a sick shark?

A sturgeon!

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6. Where do sharks go on holiday?

Finland!

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7. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?

You stop pretending!

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8. What’s a shark’s favorite TV show?

Shark trek!

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9. What did the shark say to the whale?

What are you blubbering about!

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10. What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish?

This tastes a little funny!

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11. What should you do if you see a shark?

Swim away!

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12. What do you call two sharks who get married?

Hooked for life!

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13. Why do the Sharks live in the ocean and not the sky?

Because the sky is Jets territory!

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14. What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?

Do not consume if the seal is broken!

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15. How does a shark greet a fish?

He says, “Pleased to eat you!”

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16. What happened to the shark when he got famous?

He became a starfish!

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17. Where do country music-loving sharks go?

Gnashville!

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18. What do a shark and a computer have in common?

They both have megabites!

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19. If you thought it was expensive to go swimming with dolphins, you should try swimming with sharks. . . it cost me an arm and a leg!

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20. What do you call a fish that doesn’t have any friends?

A loan shark!

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21. What type of shark do you find at a building site?

Hammerhead sharks!

22. I had a nightmare about being attacked by sharks.

When I woke up, I realised it was just a bream!

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23. How does a shark chef announce that the food is ready?

“Hot off the gill!”

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24. What’s a shark’s favorite type of sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish!

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25. Who delivers presents to sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws!

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26. How did the hammerhead shark do on his test?

He nailed it!

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27. What happens when you put a shark and a cow together?

I don’t know, but I wouldn’t like to milk it!

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28. What do you get when you cross a shark with a parrot?

An animal that will talk your head off!

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29. What kind of shark likes to gamble?

A card shark!

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30. Who’s the most famous shark writer?

William Sharkspeare!

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31. What did the Great White shark say to the cliff jumper?

“Don’t worry, I’ll catch you!”

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32. What does a shark say when it sees something cool?

That’s jaw-some!

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33. What did the shark get on his maths test?

A sea-minus!

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34. What do you call the stuff that gets stuck in a shark’s teeth?

Slow swimmers!

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35. How do you make a shark laugh?

By telling it a whale of a tale!

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36. Why do sharks live in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

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37. What do sharks say to comfort each other after a relationship ends?

“It’s okay, there are plenty more birds in the sky!”

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38. What did the mummy shark say to her child?

Watch your sharkastic tone!

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39. What do British sharks eat?

Fish and kids!

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40. What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?

His shark ate it!

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41. The star attraction at my local aquarium got repossessed. I think it was a loan shark!

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42. Why did the Great White shark cross the Great Barrier Reef?

To get to the other tide!

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43. I’m beginning to think deciding to call my dog “Shark” was a big mistake.

I’ve been banned from all my local beaches!

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44. What do sharks say when they have a big decision to make?

Chews wisely!

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45. A new study discovered that sharks only bite people who go swimming in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there!

46. What do you get from an angry shark?

As far away as possible!

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47. I told a friend that I was attacked by a shark the other day. He asked, “Did you punch it on the nose?”

“No,” I said, “The shark started it for no reason!”

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48. What kind of shark wears big, baggy, gold trousers?

MC Hammerhead!

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49. A prospective businessman enters the Shark Tank.

Shark 1: What’s your business idea?

Businessman: Ridiculously wide sunglasses.

Shark 1: I’m out.

Shark 2: I’m out.

Hammerhead shark: Tell me more. . .

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50. What’s a shark’s least favorite sweet?

Jawbreakers!

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51. Every year at Halloween for the past six years, I’ve dressed up as a shark. The joke’s wearing fin!

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52. Why don’t sharks like fast food?

Because they can’t catch it!

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53. I was at the beach when I saw a man in the water yelling. He was shouting, “Help, shark, help!” I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him!

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54. Why didn’t the shark want to fight the octopus?

Because he knew he was well-armed!

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55. I don’t understand how people get attacked by sharks. Can’t they hear the music?

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56. What do you call an acrobat in shark-infested waters?

A balanced breakfast!

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57. On one hand, I should be more focused on my job as a shark feeder at Seaworld. On the other h. . . AARGH!!!

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58. What does a shark order at McDonalds?

A quarter flounder with cheese?

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59. I was at the beach the other day when I saw a man swimming in the sea despite the warning signs about the shark-infested waters. He got attacked and lost a leg. I bet he’s kicking himself now!

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60. It’s my life’s dream to see a great white shark before I die. Just not right before I die!