“Sometimes our thoughts are backed by many insecurities, that they create lies we believe.” – Anonymous.
Born in an Army family, this is the story of 25-year-old Vasu Goel. A believer in cooking as a therapy, Vasu currently works as a Senior Business Development Associate at Scaler Academy. Though currently, Vasu’s work desk is limited to his home, he usually is fond of travelling and being an Army brat, he also knows and embraces a variety of different cultures.
“I like to live a lavish lifestyle and to satisfy this need of mine, I began to take many debts. I didn’t have other liabilities but I liked to have a personal staff and the bill was huge.”
To fulfil his desire to have a room full of helpers, Vasu started to rely on third party money lenders and ended up taking unnecessary debts. In addition to his yet-unknown pool of insecurities, Vasu wanted to lead a virtual life, to impress people around him.
“Social expectations had been on me. I was aware of a few insecurities of mine, but I didnt know they would find their way in this manner.”
Vasu was in a relationship with a girl at this time. It’d been one year for them living together too. Though Vasu did not plan to inform his girlfriend about the ongoing debts, since they were living together, the issue soon became the elephant in the room.
“Due to my insecurities, I couldn’t tell her about this earlier. Problems aggravated when I realised I was underperforming at work. Despite being a sales guy, I was fumbling talking with people. I felt like I lost my primary skill of communication.”
Vasu, not in control of his emotions, began to get many random thoughts that kept him up at night. He started to get more angry and frustrated, which was reflected in his work performance as well. His mind also started to breed suicidal thoughts to end the misery, and also began to cater thoughts of indulging in other malpractices.
“Though I knew this was not me, I still couldn’t help but get angry at times. I lost my appetite and also lost the urge to do anything. I was practically sitting at a place for 2-3 hours, just staring at the wall.”
Vasu’s girlfriend is a PhD student at IIT Delhi, so she was already aware of YourDOST’s services. Being a Psychology student, she advised Vasu to resort to therapy. “I know I might not be able to help you, as I might get biased but I know a counselor won’t.”, she told Vasu as he saw a glimmer of hope in those words.
During this time, Vasu got to know about his old Army friend who had lost a parent to Covid and suffered a lot. Once Vasu understood how his friend’s lack of mental stability began to hamper his work, he decided to not waste any more time and address his insecurities with help of a counselor.
Before joining Scaler Academy, Vasu was working with an Ed-tech company that was tied up with YourDOST and so, he began his journey towards a better person by taking up sessions.
“Talking to random people was never a tough task for me as I was always on the other side where people would share their issues/concerns. This time, I was going to be the one who will be talking about personal things so, obviously, I was a bit sceptical.”
Like many of us, Vasu was a bit hesitant, but he was adamant about seeking help and getting better. He got connected with a female counselor from YourDOST via audio call and to his surprise, he was amused with how the counselor was patient and asked for consent before beginning the session.
Vasu knew that there was no point in hiding anything from the counselor, so he became as transparent with his words as he could. After the first session itself, Vasu understood how the counselor was able to decode the root of his insecurities! But, there was a long way to go for him. Vasu told her how he used to be, how he is now, and where he sees himself for better clarity. The counselor then suggested that he should write these thoughts down in an addition to writing five things he likes and dislikes about himself, his parents and his girlfriend.
“Other things were fine, but it was difficult for me to write things about my partner as I did not want to compare her with anyone. I told the same to my counselor and she said she liked how I was very upfront with her.”
Upon understanding Vasu’s concern about not being able to write about his girlfriend, the counselor told him, “Society is already doing this for you. But, you are helping yourself by not thinking anything bad. Just be yourself and convey the message.” Vasu felt more confident and opened up about his insecurities about the relationship. It was difficult for him, but Vasu gathered courage, sent a mail of things he did not like about his partner and discussed the same with her. After a small spat of two days, Vasu now feels that his bond with his girlfriend has become extremely strong.
“As I grew more to know myself, I can see my insecurities fading away now. My debts have also begun to clear. I feel more aligned with myself now.”
Vasu slowly began to swallow his anger and frustration and also learned how to be more unfiltered, and his authentic self. The new, confident Vasu was now ready to conquer the world.
Earlier, Vasu used to live in his little fairytale world, but therapy gave him a reality check and showed him ways to be better than ever! He also got his patience threshold back, which began to aid him in his work-life as well.
“I talked to my parents during all this, cried as well. I was very vulnerable at that time and they helped me survive that phase. I wholeheartedly thank my counselor for not grilling me, rather giving me suggestions and the right guidance.”
For Vasu, the best part about the counseling process was that he was able to get the clarity he needed. He is free of the cage of his own insecurities now, and even rates his overall progress through therapy a bang-on 5 on 5, and we at YourDOST wish him nothing but the best for years to come!
Vasu’s Warrior Tips:
1. No one should refrain from reaching out to counselors, it honestly helps a lot.
2. Do discuss your negative thoughts with a counselor, they will give you the opportunity to speak up and make you think. It’s truly enlightening.
3. Everyone is troubled, sometime you can get out of it, while sometimes you can not. A counselor can be a true catalyst for this.
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
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