Whether you are a fishing enthusiast or you have been a fan of Finding Nemo for years, you have come to the right place – the ultimate hub for fish jokes.
We bet you didn’t even know such a place existed, but either way, you will be glad you are here. We have even covered fish puns and fishing jokes in their own separate articles, so those can be suggestions for further reading.
Without further ado, let’s dive straight in! (pun intended)
Funny Fish Jokes
1. Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!
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2. What kind of fish only comes out at night?
A starfish.
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3. What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
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4. What did a shark eat with its peanut butter sandwich?
A jellyfish.
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5. I made some fish tacos last night.
They just swam right past them.
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6. Why did the fish get bad grades?
Because it was below sea level.
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7. What is the most famous fish you can catch?
A starfish.
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8. What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something with a good tune-a!
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9. What day of the week do all fish dislike the most?
Fryday.
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10. How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance.
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11. What do you call a fish that practices medicine?
A Sturgeon.
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12. What did the shark say after eating a clownfish?
That tasted a little bit funny!
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13. Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can’t walk.
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14. What do whales have for dinner?
They eat fish and ships.
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15. Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
He only had two worms.
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16. What does every fisherman want?
A gillfriend.
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17. Where do you find a fish in orbit?
Trouter space.
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18. What do you call a fish with two legs?
A two-knee fish.
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19. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
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20. How did the oyster manage to hide from the fish?
Clamouflage!
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21. Where do fish go to borrow money?
A loan-shark.
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22. What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut, and you won’t get caught.
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23. Why is fishing such good business?
The net profits.
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24. Why are fish so easy to weigh?
Because they have their own scales.
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25. What kind of fish eats mice?
A catfish.
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26. A little fish walks into a bar. The bartender asks the fish:
What can I get you?
The little fish replies (gasping):
Water! I need water!
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27. What do you get if you cross a fishing rod with a P.E sock?
A hook, line, and stinker!
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28. Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut?
The bobber shop.
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29. Which country do fish like to go for a vacation?
Finland.
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30. How do you talk to a fish?
You drop it a line.
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31. Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Because Robin ate all the worms!
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32. Two fish swam into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says, “Dam!”
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33. What do you call a lazy Crawfish?
A slobster.
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34. There was a massive fight today at the fish restaurant.
One fish got battered!
More Hilarious Fish Jokes
35. I am alive without breath and cold as death. I am never thirsty but always drinking. What am I?
Fish.
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36. Where does a fish keep its money?
A riverbank.
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37. What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.
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38. What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
A big-mouthed bass.
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39. What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks.
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40. Why are fish cleverer than people?
Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to catch a human?
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41. What is a pirate’s favorite fish?
A swordfish.
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42. Two parrots are sitting on a perch.
One bird asks the other one, “Does something smell a little fishy to you?”
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43. What do you call a rich fish?
Goldfish.
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44. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says:
How do you drive this thing?
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45. Where do fish keep their money?
On the river bank.
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46. I have always admired fishermen.
They are reel men.
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47. Why do fish live in salt water?
Pepper makes them sneeze!
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48. What do you call a fish with lots of money?
A goldfish.
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49. Why did the scuba divers start laughing when they got near the coral reefs?
They saw a clownfish.
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50. Why did the dog jump from the boat into the ocean?
He thought he saw a catfish.
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51. What do you call a dog underwater?
A Scooby diver.
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52. What type of music should you listen to whilst fishing?
Something catchy.
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53. What’s the head of the underwater mafia called?
The Codfather.
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54. Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
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55. So I started this new underwater band-project
I hope you guys like aquapella!
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56. What’s the fastest fish in the lake?
A motor-Pike.
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57. Who eats at underwater restaurants?
Scuba diners.
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58. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!
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59. Did you know that there are more airplanes underwater than submarines in the sky?
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60. What is the easiest way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw it to you.
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61. I’ve bought an underwater craft in a bright green color.
It’s sublime!
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62. There was a sale today at the fish market.
I went to see what the catch was.
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63. When should you be afraid of an underwater plant?
When it’s anemone.
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64. How many tickles will it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
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65. Why shouldn’t you ask a fish vendor for help?
Because they’re shellfish.
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66. How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but you should have seen the bulb – it was THIS big!
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67. What do you call hunting for fish in Chernobyl?
Nuclear fishin’.
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68. Why don’t fish like basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
Your Turn!
We hope you have enjoyed our list of fish jokes! Now, it can be your turn to make people laugh:
Do you have a favorite fish joke which we haven’t mentioned in our article?
Let us know in the comment section down below!
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