“It ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!- Rocky Balboa.
Anything worth doing is complex and comes with its fair share of struggles. 23-year-old Preeti (name changed) has chosen the path of resistance and keeps chipping away daily.
She completed her postgraduate studies at the prestigious IIT Mandi and is preparing for UPSC, one of India’s most high-profile competitive exams.
Preeti recalls her childhood as her ‘golden period’. Pampered by her family and teachers, she excelled in academics and co-curricular activities, often standing out as a confident and hardworking student.
Preeti was born in Uttar Pradesh. While she spent the initial days living with her grandparents, she soon shifted to her uncle and aunt’s place in Lucknow to study. She considers her aunt’s family her immediate family and is close to her uncle, aunt, and two cousins, as she never spent enough time with her parents.
Moving into an entirely new environment was challenging for Preeti to adapt to, but she persevered and made it to the colleges she wanted to. Preeti explains that the pandemic hit when she started feeling adjusted, making her feel isolated. This created a rift between her parents and ended in their separation. She adds that it emotionally drained her as they were the people she entirely relied on.
In 2021, in the search for higher pastures, she decided to attempt the civil services examination. UPSC CSE is a challenging process to crack. It starts with the preliminary exam, and if one clears it, they can go on to the mains. If they also clear the mains, their fate is determined via interviews with government officials. If an aspirant falters at any stage and is not selected, they must start this process again.
Facing all these stressors, Preeti took them in her stride and kept moving forward. However, in 2022, she faced her first setbacks, which went beyond the world of her exam prep. Around the same time, Preeti was also in a one-sided relationship. She says the emotional turmoil was too much as she was on the giving end all the time, and it was coupled with her first-ever career failure—failing the UPSC prelims in 2022—that caused Preeti to go into depression.
“All these events accumulated over one year, and my mind stopped working.”
She mentions feeling unconfident about accomplishing daily tasks. One of the activities that refreshes her is driving, and she finds it difficult to even drive around in her locality.
Despite the setback regarding prelims in 2022, she returned to studying for the exam again. However, the stress from recent events and the thought of her first attempt started to crowd her again.
She was looking for solutions to tackle this and, with her friend’s help, decided to seek clarity through therapy with the experts on the YourDOST platform.
Her first series of sessions was with Ms. Mamatha Harish. As Preeti elaborated on her feelings, Ms. Harish asked follow-up questions about the situation and context.
These open discussions often give Preeti space to understand her emotions better. It helped her confront her feelings instead of escaping them, says Preeti.
“The first major thing was asking questions. Second, Ms Harish would also give me constructive criticisms of my thoughts.”
Ms Harish worked with Preeti so she could resolve one issue after another over time. She began working with Preeti first on the relationship issues and shifted attention to the situations she was facing with her parents.
Ms Harish suggested journaling and constructive self-reflection to Preeti, which she continues to use today.
“I can understand better why I am feeling a particular emotion in a particular situation, which gives me a lot of clarity to move forward. I feel grateful to Ms Harish for being the guiding light in my process”.
Preeti rates himself a 3 out of 5 in terms of feeling better after counseling. She mentions that this might change over time because life has ups and downs, and things can be overwhelming, but she is confident enough to handle the highs and the lows.
Preeti’s Warrior Tips:
1.“As women in Indian families, we tend to keep some of our emotional struggles to ourselves. We should be willing to open up and talk about our struggles.”
2.“By seeking help early, you can learn the tools to manage difficult situations.”
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