“Family should always be our safe space, and providing safe space for our family members should always be our priority,” says Nikita Gupta, a 21-year-old daughter who took the torch to guide her 45-year-old father towards the light.
She is pursuing a B.Tech in Electrical Engineering at IIT Mandi. She was born in Prayagraj, Uttar Pradesh, and grew up with her parents and elder sister. Since her father was in the Air Force, they lived in different cities in India, from Srinagar to Delhi to Shillong.
“I have lost friends because we kept moving, but I also made many friends everywhere we went, which used to be exciting.”
Nikita says that everyone in her family shares a deep bond with each other. Although she has always felt closer to her father, Nikita also relishes her mom’s company more when she indulges in dancing and singing in her leisure time. On her calm days, Nikita also loves to sit alone and read some of her favourite books.
“Being the youngest sibling, I’m more energetic, and I used to keep making my family laugh with my humourous nature. On the contrary, my sister is a more responsible and quiet person.”
She explains that she has always felt loved by her family. They lived together in their home nest as chirping birds for nearly 18 years before flying out for their career. She says that her elder sister continued to live with her parents for two more years after Nikita left for college. Eventually, her sister moved out for work, too. Her father was working as a teacher in a school in their hometown after retiring from the airforce.
She adds that the separation of family became the start of an obstacle they had to face as a family. As their parents were ageing and they were missing their daughters, Nikita’s father started developing sleep deprivation and anxiety issues.
Despite these issues, Nikita explains that her parents didn’t tell her and her sister about it, and they tried to consult the doctors. Even after taking medicine, when her father didn’t get better, they kept changing the doctors. After three months, they both became aware of their father’s situation when they came home.
“My father was overthinking a lot and losing sleep every night. A person not sleeping for one straight week can mess them up. He kept telling us that he was happy because he didn’t want to worry us, but I saw him getting anxiety attacks and being stressed out due to the sleep deprivation.”
Slowly, when the family showed him unconditional support and love, Nikita’s father started sharing how he was feeling and being consistent with the doctor. He was responding well to the medicine, but the side effects of the medication weren’t sound.
Thinking about all of these, Nikita suggested her father seek therapy, but as he refused, saying talking to his family was enough for him, she started looking for different ways to handle the situation.
Nikita knew about her college partnership with YourDOST for student well-being, so she decided to seek the advice of an expert on the platform. For the first session, Nikita connected with Ms Maria Shantaraj, who she found to be a calm listener. This gave her the space to describe her entire situation.
The counsellor suggested to Nikita that her father be on the call for a family counselling session to understand the issue better and help. She followed the guidance and connected with her father.
“Ms Maria was convincing and a good listener. My father agreed to join me and the counselor every session after that.”
As Nikita went home for the winter holiday around the same time, it was easy for her to help her father with therapy. The counselor began speaking to him and gave him tasks after every session to improve his condition.
Nikita adds that Ms Maria asked multiple questions to understand the cause of the anxiety and sleeplessness. They also tried to make her father feel completely aware of his problems.
Nikita’s father was made to write down all his thoughts to reduce his overthinking pattern. It also gave her father a cathartic effect, allowing him to sleep without too many thoughts.
“My father couldn’t pay attention to different things. Once, he told us that if my mom told him to get groceries and also drop me somewhere, his mind would think about too many questions, such as how he should do it, which he should do first, which way he should pick and all. These eventually led him towards feeling anxious during such situations.”
He used to strategise the optimum way to do a task before doing it, which used to drain his energy more than the task itself. Understanding the issue, the therapist suggested that he focus on only one thing at a time and only on those things that make sense to him.
Developing this habit reduced the intensity of his anxiety. Nikita’s father also started listening to music, doing yoga, and communicating with family to calm himself and sleep better.
“My father tells me that he started prioritising one task at a time after therapy and organising his work systematically on a notepad or phone. He has calmed down, and his complexity regarding simple things has decreased, and I feel elated to see him return to his old self.”
As her father is on the right track towards progress, Nikita feels thankful to her counselor, Ms Maria, for bringing her family out of a crisis. She rates her father 4 out of 5 in terms of feeling better and is delighted to see him doing better every day.
“My father is the pillar of our family. Seeing him feel broken was a terrible thing for us. YourDOST have been very helpful in our path to undo the situation. Our relationship in the family has become stronger after therapy.”
Nikita has stood by her father in times of need and figured out how to help him. We are proud of her and humbled to be part of their progress.
Nikita’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Communicate with your family when you have issues; they can be your safest place.”
2.“Therapy is the best investment one can make in one’s life.”
3.“Life is a blessing; take the blessing and live it with the people you care about the most.”
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