Have you ever been at the receiving end of an insult and later spent hours thinking about all the things you could’ve said back instead of being quiet?
Well, you can always count on humor to be your best defense mechanism to any rude remarks and snarks.
But how to respond to an insult with humor?
We have your back!
In this article, we present you with 7 quick tips and savage comebacks that will prepare you for those future scenarios.
Let’s get started!
Tip #1 – Try Not to Sound Angry
Firstly, the best thing to remember is to try your hardest not to sound angry.
But, how do you stay calm when insulted?
We suggest taking your time. Take a deep breath and relax your shoulders.
If you show them that their comment got to you and that you’ve been hurt with their insult, your funny comeback won’t be as effective.
Aim to avoid your joke sounding bitter or like you’re deeply embarrassed and annoyed. No matter how much killing someone with kindness is a cliché saying in these situations, there’s some truth to it too!
By not being on their level, keeping your head cool, and your joke lighthearted and witty, you’re automatically going to be in control of the situation.
Tip #2 – Sharpen Your Witty Skills
Of course, being witty is a fantastic retort to any insult, especially when you’re surrounded by other people.
You’re not only going to ease the tension by not being explicitly offended, you’re also going to sound funny and smart at the same time.
Although having those skills of pure wit at any given time that are jealous worthy is hard, and it takes a lot of time to excel at, there are a few ways you can work on them.
Our advice would be to listen very carefully to what the other person is saying.
Try finding something in what they implied and turn it around with a sharp-witted twist to it. Relying on a funny, sarcastic answer to what they just insulted you with is another good retort.
So by paying attention to them, you can half estimate what would be the perfect clever comeback that would tell them not to mess with you again.
Tip #3 – Confidence is Key
However, we wouldn’t recommend you to overdone your sarcasm.
It’s all about confidence.
When you show them how you’re not affected by them at all, that’s when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well.
With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won’t create any tension and remain lighthearted and straightforward.
You’ll also earn comedic points by sounding composed and calm, thus ready to make a perfect punchline with a joke.
And after all, that will also help you earn the respect of others who just witnessed you being insulted and taking it like a champ!
Tip #4 – Use Your Voice Tone
Many people skim over the fact that using your voice tone when trying to be funny is equally important as the joke itself.
We already mentioned not sounding angry.
However, to get your point across, use everything you can to your advantage.
If your comedic approach is to be sarcastic, make sure to really exaggerate your retort. For example, suppose someone made fun of your appearance or what you just said. In that case, you can reply with a very prolonged and dramatized: Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
On the other hand if you’re being witty and clever with your response, your voice tone should remain calm, and with a small smile, everyone can hear your words.
And perhaps avoid openly mocking someone back and sounding superior since it won’t come across as funny, only equally as rude, and you want to be the better person in the conversation.
Tip #5 – Master The Perfect Comebacks
Getting the hang of funny comebacks probably isn’t as easy as it sounds.
Naturally, we have prepared a few first steps on how you can become an expert in quick and funny responses.
You can start with wittiness is to purposely misinterpreting what the person said for a comedic effect.
If they insult your outfit or your new hairstyle, you can play it off as a compliment rather than an insult and say, in a very exaggerated way, thank you.
Or if the person who insulted you is a close friend or family and it was all in a joking matter, you can use their insult and turn it back at them with what you already know about them.
This type of humor achieves its effect when you’re both with people who also really know both of you, so they’re going to understand the inside jokes and laugh too.
Best Comebacks to Insults
- Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
- Stupidity isn’t a crime. You’re free to go.
- Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
- Do your parents even realize they’re living proof that two wrongs don’t make a right?
- I’m not insulting you; I’m describing you.
- Have a nice day somewhere else.
- If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
- You’re not stupid! You just have bad luck when you’re thinking.
- I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
- You are the human version of period cramps.
- What doesn’t kill you disappoints me.
- Don’t worry — the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.
- Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
- You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
- You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about.
Funny Comebacks to Insults
- Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
- You are proof that evolution can go in reverse.
- Well, the jerk store called. They’re running out of you.
- I’m busy right now; can I ignore you another time?
- You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?
- Life is full of disappointments, and I just added you to the list.
- Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
- You’re my favorite person… besides every other person I’ve ever met.
- If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.
Good Comebacks to Insults
- I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
- Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it.
- Your face makes onions cry.
- Isn’t there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of?
- If you’re going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard.
- Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality.
- You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
- You are so full of shit, the toilet’s jealous.
- Don’t you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning?
- I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
- I’ve been called worse by better.
- Someday you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.
- If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.
Tip #6 – Take Time to Study
Our next tip on how to improve your comedic responses to insults is to simply take some time and study.
Watch a lot of comedians and pay attention to how they interact with the audience.
Of course, the best way is to also watch two or more comedians banter together with endless retorts up their sleeves full of wittiness and jests at each other.
Videos of improv comedy would be your gold mine for studying, too. There are plenty of quick-paced videos where comedians have to come up with a response on the spot without any script and make the audience laugh.
After all, learning from the best is always a time well spent, so try to write down some of the comebacks that you find amusing and clever. Find patterns in what they have in common and take inspiration from lists of witty comebacks you can find online.
Although keep in mind that learning them by heart isn’t always the best option in real life since you may freeze and forget them all, trust your instinct, make time to observe comedians, and humorous responses will eventually come naturally to you.
Tip #7 – Practice
Finally– practice, practice, practice!
Don’t worry that you spent so much time thinking of all the past times your mind went blank, and you came up with a perfect response to an insulting way later. That’s a very good practice lesson, so you won’t repeat the same thing next time you find yourself in a similar situation.
Remember: It’s all a part of the process, and it takes time.
In the end, you probably won’t even notice how much your skills of quick thinking on the spot improved until you witness it firsthand.
Your Turn
We hope that you now know how to respond to an insult with humor.
We would love to hear from you!
Is humor your go-to way to respond to an insult? If so, why?
Please share your thoughts and witty comebacks in the comments down below!
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