Loud, smelly, and disgusting. That is how one would define farts. On the other hand, we all agree that farts make some great jokes to tell your friends, especially if you are a kid. So, we have got you covered for your next school session.
As George Carlin says in his famous comedy show:
Where would a comedy show be without a few fart jokes?
Fart jokes are also known as “toilet jokes.” We know that this type of humor is favored by children but appreciated by adults, too.
Without further ado, we are ready to blow you away!
Short Fart Jokes
1. What is invisible and smells like dead grass?
A goat’s fart.
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2. Why do farts not perform well at school?
The fart gets expelled.
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3. Why are silent farts named ninja farts?
They are quiet but fatal.
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4. How do you know a clown farted?
It smells funny.
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5. What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
A bunny fart!
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6. What happens when you make a bean and onion casserole?
Tear gas.
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7. What is invisible and smells like worms?
A bird’s fart.
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8. What do you call a ghost fart?
A spirit bomb.
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9. Do you know what’s scary?
Attempting your first fart after having diarrhea.
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10. A fart is like success.
It only bothers you when it’s not your own.
Sophisticated Fart Jokes
11. What do you get when an aristocrat farts?
A noble gas.
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12. I got fired from my job delivering leaflets on flatulence awareness.
Unfortunately, I let one rip.
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13. What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past!
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14. What are gassy surfers afraid of the most?
A shart attack.
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15. I farted at work yesterday, and my coworker opened the window.
It must have been bad — we’re flight attendants.
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16. I didn’t fart…
My butt likes you so much it blew a kiss.
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17. My partner said he wanted to heat things up in bed.
So I farted under the sheets.
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18. How would you biologically describe a fart?
It is a kiss from the intestines.
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19. I didn’t fart in front of my partner until we got married.
Her family wasn’t too impressed.
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20. Two flies are sitting on a piece of poop.
One fly farts, and the other fly cries, “Hey! I’m trying to eat here!”
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21. An old married couple is at a concert one Friday night when the woman turns to her husband and says, “I’ve just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?”
The husband tells her, “Replace the battery in your hearing aid.”
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22. What’s the ideal weight of a fart?
Zero pounds. If it’s anything more, you’re in trouble.
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23. Why won’t the skeleton fart in public?
He doesn’t have the guts.
Funny Fart Jokes For Adults
24. I just rang the Incontinence Hotline.
The woman said, “Can you hold, please?”
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25. If you farted while traveling at the speed of sound, would you smell it before you heard it?
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26. Why did the chicken cross the road?
She didn’t want the other chickens to notice that she farted.
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27. Why did the man stop telling fart jokes?
He was told that his jokes stink.
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28. Did you hear the one about the blind and heartbroken skunk?
She fell in love with a fart.
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29. Why did everyone notice when Bill Gates farted in the Apple store?
Because they didn’t have any Windows.
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30. Farting on an elevator is probably the worst thing you can do.
It’s just wrong on so many levels.
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31. Farts are like children.
You don’t mind your own, but you can’t stand other people’s.
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32. Why do farts smell?
So that deaf people can enjoy them too.
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33. What do you call someone who only farts alone at home?
A private tutor.
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34. What did the menstrual pad write on the “thank you” note to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
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35. I used to tell a lot of jokes about farting until everybody told me that they stunk.
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36. Why is it a bad idea to fart in church?
Because you have to sit in your own pew.
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37. I don’t fart. I whisper in my pants!
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38. I used to cough in public to hide my farts, but now I fart in public to hide my coughs.
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39. Why is love like a fart?
If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.
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40. Frank farted in the classroom, so his teacher threw him out.
As he sat outside the class, he could not stop laughing.
The principal walks by and asks, “Frank, why are you sitting outside your classroom laughing?”
Frank replies, “I farted in class, and the teacher threw me out.”
The principal asks him again, “Well then, why are you laughing?”
Frank says, “Those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my fart while I’m outside in the fresh air.”
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41. Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Fart and the world stop laughing.
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42. What’s the difference between a pun and a fart?
A pun is a shift of wit.
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43. I just farted on my wallet.
Now I have gas money.
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44. How does NASA pass gass?
They fart using their ass-teroids.
45. What do you call a cow’s fart?
Dairy air.
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46. Why was there a fart on Kickstarter?
It just needed some gas.
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47. How can you tell when a moth farts?
It flies in a straight line.
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48. If you fart in public, just yell “jet power!” Then, walk faster.
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49. Some people might say that fart jokes are immature, but I assure you, there’s a methane to the madness.
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50. Fart jokes are funny, but eye jokes are cornea.
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51. What did one pharaoh say to the other when they farted?
“We have a toot in common.”
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52. How does a duck fart?
With his ass-quack.
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53. When I was a kid, every time my dad farted, he denied it.
It wasn’t until years later that I realized he had been gaslighting me.
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54. I sit here broken hearted, came to poop but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance, tried to fart, and pooped my pants.
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55. When is a fart joke acceptable?
When it doesn’t stink!
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56. The best part about being a teacher is being able to fart freely at work and then watch the drama unfold as all the kids try to blame each other.
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57. Hookers don’t fart.
They let out prosti-toots.
Fart Knock Knock Jokes
58. Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Guess.
Guess who?
Guess I am getting a fart attack.
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59. Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Broken.
Broken Who?
Broken wind. Put a peg on your nose.
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60. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Blew.
Blew who?
Blew off, and it stinks!
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61. Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Never.
Never who?
Never turn down the fart.
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62. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A bottom.
A bottom who?
A bottom burp, and it smells too.
Brain Fart Jokes
63. What is a name for a bad idea from a brilliant person?
A brain fart.
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64. What would a brain be called if not a single piece of information could ever be retrieved from there?
A Bermuda Triangle.
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65. Why are earphones not advised while farting? Because wearing earphones is not going to silence your farts.
Fart Jokes For Kids
66. What do you say to the fart that startles you? “I am fartled by you.”
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67. What do you do to get a bubble bath after dinner? Just have beans for dinner.
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68. How did the beans wish their father on Father’s day? Happy Farter’s day!
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69. What did the baby diaper say to the fart in the thank you note? “You are the wind beneath my wings!”
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70. I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.
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71. Why does everyone always think Piglet farted?
He plays with Pooh!
Your Turn!
We hope that you loved our fart jokes collection for adults and kids. Which joke was your favorite?
If you love inappropriate jokes – make sure to check out our NSFW jokes.
Let us know in the comments down below!
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