Journey From Infidelity To Self-Discovery: This is Chirag’s Story.

Relationships are hard to understand but it can be simple only when we communicate and radiate our love towards one another. It’s very important to invest ourselves emotionally and mentally for a healthy relationship, Chirag’s case was distinct to this.

Chirag is a 24-year-old, from northern India, who graduated from IIT BHU in the year 2020. Banaras is an ancient holy city located on the banks of the river Ganga. It is also a stop for pilgrimage.

Chirag works in a climate tech startup in Bengaluru. His hobbies involve playing the guitar, writing poetry and making pottery sculptures. He also focuses on physical fitness and on top of that he also sings for which he practises riyaz every day. He likes to plan the road though finds it difficult to follow it.  

Introverts are self-aware and love to focus on their inner thoughts. Chirag is more reserved and opens up only in front of his known ones. He is an introvert who has limited friends and does not socialise much. 

In a family of 4, he always had a distant relationship with his family. Both the brothers couldn’t get along much with each other. He shared different dynamics with his brother and used to fight each other.

All the events in our life happen for a reason which leads to many noteworthy circumstances. Some events just change the course of our lives. Chirag had a similar domino effect of situations.

In July 2022, he was fired from his job post which put him into a mild depression. It was unexpected and came all of a sudden. It didn’t give much time for Chirag to contemplate what happened. 

“It was my first relationship and I thought it was love but it was a mere fascination of being in a relationship.” 

Chirag didn’t feel love because of feeling invalidated by his partner. He searched for that warmth, love and validation someplace else. He was unfaithful to his partner. It was an eye-opening and major event in his life.

“This pushed me into introspection which made me realise about my issues and how much work needs to be done.”

Chirag is thankful to his college for partnering with YourDOST to cater to mental health. His decision to seek therapy was a step forward in becoming a better version of himself.

Ms Ishita Attri came to his rescue as a therapist when he most needed help. After a few sessions, he developed a bond to communicate and be transparent about his problems. 

It started initially with a trial of 1-2 sessions but one thing led to another and this decision changed his life. Through months of hard work, he finally understood and accepted his flaws to change them soon. 

After getting comfortable with therapy it became like Saturday night with Netflix for him. He would look out for upcoming sessions. Usually, he puts alarms as reminders for his priority tasks but never needed one for therapy. He barely missed any sessions.

Counselors suggest several techniques to help individuals overcome challenges and improve their mental well-being. It helps them understand better what they are going through and how they can improve. These techniques help them to calm down and become patient.

She suggested gratitude journaling and focusing on his daily activities. She also recommended to indulge in his hobbies and try to explore more. As a result, he started writing poetry and sketching. He started his blog and posted his pieces. 

Ishita offered him a valuable tip: whenever his mind starts to wander, he suggested channelling his energy towards engaging in something productive or creative. She also encouraged him to follow an exercise the 4-4 breathing rule where you inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 4 seconds.

Adapting changes can be tough for some but good changes need to be incorporated for our betterment. Chirag had one such transformation where he learnt to make efforts and come a little closer to his family. With combined efforts of his and his brothers led to a change in their dynamics. 

Chirag finds himself in a much more fulfilling relationship with Tia, his partner. He is equally thankful to Tia for believing in him and staying when he needed her. He also observes a sense of growth as an individual. Recently, he joined the workforce in a startup fighting climate change. He puts immense effort into his relationship and also reveals that his self-esteem has improved.

“I’m just trying to be the best partner in my relationship. Whenever I feel like something is not right or I’m stuck I read some articles, talk to my therapist and get a moral compass on that. I immediately start working on it.”

Chirag mentions how he is still working on his porn addiction and has a long way to go. He no longer seeks validation from others. He also understood relationship boundaries and he treats them with utmost respect.

Chirag feels the subtle changes inside him and has become carefree of what the world thinks. His relationship dynamics have improved exponentially. He is in a much better space right now, in a very supportive relationship with a loving partner. He is pursuing his hobbies at his best and plans to pursue his higher education now.

Chirag rates himself an excellent 5 out of 5 in terms of getting better and looks forward to understanding more about life.

Chirag’s Warrior Tips:
1.“If anyone wants to see positive changes there are 3 pillars or principles to keep in mind. Direction or guidance that one needs can be achieved with therapy. Intent to take a step toward the change will show results. Efforts, if you have the best intentions and best guidance but no efforts it’s useless.”
2.“The foundation of any change is to be mindful of it. You have to bring it out from your subconscious to your conscious mind to get things done.”