Trigger warning: Domestic abuse
Anne (name changed) is a vibrant 20-year-old student studying Knitwear design at the National Institute of Fashion Technology(NIFT) in Bangalore. She grew up in the artistic and historical city of Panipat, where she developed her love for fashion as early as 9th grade.
Anne was born in West Bengal, but when she was five, her family shifted to Panipat, Haryana, where she spent most of her childhood and teenage years.
Even though Anne had many interests as a child, from sports to the arts, her parents heavily criticised her academic performance. She explains that she was compared to her younger brother and her friends and that, eventually, her father also started to be violent with her.
“My parents were emotionally unavailable and toxic. My dad used to hit me frequently, and my mom could rarely understand how I felt and told me it was nothing and it was all in my head.”
She describes her childhood as painful and says her parents never made her feel good about herself, being spiteful to her.
Anne also adds that she had a lot of friends in Panipat and used to play basketball proactively in school, but her mom restricted her from both as she suspected Anne of getting acquainted with male peers.
All of these made Anne distance herself from her family. After school for her undergraduate studies, she moved to Bangalore, while the rest of her family moved to Gujarat, says Anne.
As the academics went on, Anne also met her partner in Bangalore. When she thought everything could go as expected, Anne started sensing specific reflections in herself from her trauma. She started having relationship issues and frequent panic attacks every day.
“I knew I needed therapy even before my issues with my partner, but when I started becoming the person who hurt me as a child, I had to work on it immediately.”
Anne received emails from her college about the availability of therapy through their partnership with YourDOST. She decided to use the resources and contact the experts on the platform.
“My first session was right after a bad break up. I was hurting and wanted to quit academics and go home since I didn’t know how to process everything. In that session, I gained hope and started working on myself.”
As Anne trusted the process, she opened up to her counselors, Ms Maria Shantharaj and Shravya Devadhar and tried to understand each aspect.
“I get emotionally involved with everyone, and I am very expressive. I used to feel like a people pleaser, and I can’t take it if someone is mean or rude to me without reason.”
Anne explains that she felt people were using her personality as a weapon against her. She describes her college trip to Ooty, where she had a fight with one of her college mates and ended up getting hurt physically.
“I was hurt and humiliated that I was constantly bombarded with thoughts of hurting people who hurt me like my friend did.”
She adds that even though she had people who wanted to be there for her, Anne isolated herself as she didn’t want to concern anyone. It was only therapy where she felt heard and understood, explains Anne.
“I felt like a broken down person with nobody to share my emotions with, but my faith in the process of therapy helped me, and I felt positive energy and clarity whenever I got out of that counseling room.”
Talking about these situations and thoughts helped Anne handle her emotions better. She found her anxiety coming down with the breathing techniques taught by her counselor, and she was also encouraged to continue her journaling habits to work on her thought patterns.
“When someone tries to hurt or harm me, the older me used to go silent and dwell into thoughts in the head, but the new me can speak and take a stand for myself.”
As Anne continues this process, she says she sees the changes in herself and continues to understand how she can deal with her past and present. Anne also explained that she felt very thankful to her counselors, who were kind and patient even when she was irregular in sessions earlier.
“I rate myself 3.5 out of 5, and I know I’m walking towards improvement with therapy. Even when bad days come, I’m confident I can cope and feel joy with time.”
We feel proud of Anne for developing into an optimistic person and are pleased to be part of her process!
Anne’s warrior tips:
1.“People have faith in therapy, Which is crucial for consistent healing.”
2.“Therapy makes you feel like someone is looking out for you and that you can discuss even the uncomfortable things in that safe space.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
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