Trigger warning: Sexual abuse and suicidal thoughts
Shefali, a 24-year-old pansexual person who identifies themselves by the name Ezrah, is on a mission to accept herself and move forward. They are pursuing their second master’s degree in Fashion Management from the National Institute of Fashion Technology in Bangalore.
Born and raised in Haryana, Rohtak, Ezrah studied there until their ninth grade, but due to her father’s transfer, the family shifted to Delhi. Ezrah’s family includes their parents, two elder sisters and one twin sister. They add that their relationship with their family is cordial, and they are also highly mental health-friendly.
Ezrah is passionate about learning vast subjects. For their graduation, they majored in psychology and literature and studied comparative literature for their master’s. Ezrah continued their passion for studies beyond that and started their second master’s degree in Bangalore.
Apart from being immersed in knowledge, Ezrah has also indulged in sports since school, as they felt it gave them strength against the bullying they faced during school. Despite having a handful of friends, Ezrah has always felt closer to their elder sister, who has been like another parent to Ezrah. Ezrah describes that each family member is unique, but they always prioritise caring for each other.
After graduating, Ezrah couldn’t study where they desired due to the pandemic, so they took a course at Delhi University for their master’s. They explained that their father was still supportive and encouraged them to get a third degree from their college of interest. Although everyone in their family was accommodative, Ezrah started having certain waves of panic a few times a day during their course in Bangalore.
Ezrah knew that their college provided counseling through their partnership with YourDOST. Since Ezrah studied psychology and their sister was also a psychotherapist, she had no hesitation in seeking help.
“Sometimes life gets overwhelming, and we suffer through various issues. When I could avail of therapy free of cost, I booked a session and went for it. It took a few tries to find the person to whom I can express, but I was glad for the opportunity.”
Ezrah explained that they could bond and connect well with their counsellor, who was very friendly and attentive to Ezrah. They slowly opened up about their concern to their counselor.
Despite Ezrah sharing their difficulties related to panic attacks and the challenges that come with moving to a new city like Bangalore, they were hesitant about disclosing certain things. Then, their therapist suggested they write it on paper and have it over to her.
“When she asked to write, I wrote about something traumatic I haven’t shared with anybody. I felt relieved after I gave the letter to her.”
Ezrah explained that they had written about her experience during her master’s in Delhi. They went on a field trip to Chennai with their classmates, and they revealed in the letter that they were sexually assaulted/abused by some of their classmates. Ezrah elaborates it was tough carrying that trauma around as they had to be in the same class as their abusers.
“I was determined to be away from that city. As soon as my semester got over, I applied for my second master’s degree in Bangalore and came here, hoping I could erase the memories from my mind.”
Things didn’t go the way Ezrah expected. At first, they started having trouble sleeping, and as time went on, they started getting negative thoughts.
“I was either sleeping continuously for hours or not having any sleep. Sometimes, I also used to imagine myself falling from the balcony of my room.”
Ezrah describes that they weren’t even crying but felt angry about being suicidal. They elucidate feeling hesitant to share this with their family, even though they know their parents and sisters are understanding.
“I was not sharing my trauma with my parents because I didn’t want to overwhelm them. My mom has also been in depression for some time now, and she also had a heart attack recently, so I kept everything to myself until this letter I wrote in therapy.”
After a few sessions, Ezrah’s therapist asked them to read the letter out loud in front of her. Ezrah explained that they understood their feelings and could finally cry. They also said that they hadn’t cried in a very long time and that it felt cathartic.
Along with therapy, Ezrah’s therapist also helped them with a few activities for their sleep routine and panic attacks. The counselor helped Ezrah prepare a schedule for their sleep and also taught some breathing techniques to calm them down during times of anxiety.
They were also encouraged to gradually develop the habit of going to the gym for 15 minutes daily until it became a routine. Following these ultimately reduced Ezrah’s panic attacks, and they assure us that they haven’t had any such episodes in recent months as their days go by.
“I couldn’t express my emotions a few months back, but now I can feel my emotions thoroughly, and I feel positive every time I’m in session. I’m thankful to my counselor for giving me an excellent approach to dealing with trauma and anxiety.”
As Esrah rates themselves 3 out of 5, they are wholly involved in their academics, keeping themselves busy. Even though therapy got through to their minds, they still have some sudden phases where they want to cry, but they are still in the process of working on it.
We are proud of Ezrah, who stood firm through their phases and remains strong. Ezrah empowers us, and we have complete faith in them reaching 5 out of 5 in the future.
Ezrah’s Warrior Tips:
1.“People must be educated appropriately to break out of the stigmas of counseling.”
2.“When well-being platforms are easily accessible, people must take them without hesitation.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
0 Commentaires