Trigger warning: Sexual abuse
Mislu is a 21-year-old who graduated from Bangalore’s National Institute of Fashion Technology (NIFT). She goes by her second name, “Raiha,” which makes her nostalgic about a few happier times in her childhood.
She was born and raised in Kerala and came to Bangalore for her studies and work. Raiha’s parents are doctors; she has an elder sister and a younger brother.
Raiha also adapted to various hobbies and passions as she pursued her career away from her family.
“I used to have a lot of hobbies. I used to jump from one interest to the next. Through that exploration, I found my passion for creating art.”
Recently, her sewing habit led her to find her love for Crochets, which Raiha wishes to incorporate into a business plan.
Raiha says that she and her sister were treated as twins growing up since she was just a year younger than her sister. She elaborates that Raiha was most close to her sister during her childhood, who grew apart after moving cities.
“As kids, my sister and I used to have the same clothes and toys. I was emotionally attached to her a lot. When I confronted her about why we weren’t close anymore, she told me she couldn’t connect with me anymore.”
Raiha explains that it was hard on her. She also adds that she is still on good terms with her other family members. She shares everything with her mom and resembles her dad in most aspects.
Despite these, as Raiha started her college in Bangalore, she found herself developing anxiety, which led to her wanting to give up on academics.
“I have never felt like that before. Completing a single assignment felt challenging, and I couldn’t face people around me.”
Precisely around this time, Raiha’s department centre coordinator recognised her struggle and insisted that she approach experts through YourDOST as her college has the subscription. She took their advice and booked an appointment with an available counselor on the platform.
“My counselor had a very welcoming smile, and she made me feel safer. She was very friendly, and I thought I could tell her anything. She even let me crack jokes, and I started loving going to Therapy.”
Raiha found her counselor cheerful. She explains that she felt like talking to a friend and followed her guidance.
Raiha also opened up about her sexual abuse when she was a child. She explains that she felt overwhelmed since she wasn’t ready to deal with it yet; her therapist accommodated her needs by focusing on the most recent situations.
As Therapy continued, she started unravelling the reasons for her anxiety. Raiha realised that it had to do something with her acquaintances in college.
“I kept having fallouts with most of my friends. Even the smallest disagreement acted as a trigger for me.”
It was with Therapy that she established the connection between these triggers, her anxiety and her relationship with her sister.
“I started looking for my sister in everyone, and I kept meeting with the same ending with all of them – growing apart.”
After discovering her patterns, Raiha’s therapist asked her to work on them individually using various techniques. For her anxiety, she was made to do the box breathing technique, where she had to inhale and exhale, moving through the corners of an imaginary box. Her counsellor suggested carrying gums and taking a cold shower to slow and calm her down in moments of panic, which, according to Raiha, worked alluringly well.
“I have fidgeting habits, which get compulsive and distracting. My counsellor also helped me carry a hairband so I could always focus my attention on one object.”
Raiha elucidates that she slowly started taking one step at a time and using each technique. She began to feel like she had control over herself and her emotions.
“My first semester, I was a mess and couldn’t move anywhere, but with Therapy, there was no more freaking out, and even my final jury went smoothly.”
She explains with delight that she didn’t feel anxious even when she faced difficulties in the recent part of her life. She also adds that she had started understanding certain situations are just a phase and that she could get through anything.
She also feels very thankful to her therapist for making her believe she could return to being confident.
“My counselor laid the foundation and stepping stone in my long journey. She made me feel that I matter and my mental health matters.”
Raiha finished her course and is currently working on 2D apparel software development. She rates herself 4 out of 5 and smiles better and bigger each day, flourishing with improvement!
We are incredibly content being part of her process and wish her the best of luck in her journey!
Raiha’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Many individuals are happy outside but struggling within; I want to convey that they are not alone and that help is available if they ask for it.”
2.“You matter, your problems matter, your mental health matters, and don’t feel disheartened if people say otherwise.”
3.“You will find that guidance you seek; please don’t give up and keep going forward.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
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