Kartik is a 31-year-old young professional who works as a senior manager at Freshworks. Hailing from Kerala, Kartik loves sports, particularly football. As bad luck would have it, he had numerous tears in his ligaments, so he had to take a backseat from playing his favourite sport.
That didn’t stop him from participating in all the other activities he loved, like swimming, hiking, walking, and trekking. He had a childhood growing up with a family that kept changing jobs to a career in Bangalore while the family remained in Kerala.
“As a child, I recall being quite a handful for my parents. My father was in the armed forces, and my mother was a doctor, so my parents always tried to balance discipline and support.”
When Kartik grew up, he often felt edged out because of his younger brother. His parents never lacked love, but he was sometimes left out like every older child.
Although Kartik went through early childhood issues, the extended care he received from his family about having exams or particular subjects helped him feel safe. Gradually, Kartik was able to achieve a successful career.
However, Kartik’s most significant test was his relationship with his partner, which he explains was his most significant life challenge.
“We had been together for four or five years, and it wasn’t easy. She came through a lot in her life—her mother died when she was young, her father was hurting and couldn’t give her the attention she needed at that point, and she spent most of her childhood pretty much alone with her mom. All of this weighed heavy on our relationship.”
Kartik’s relationship entered a turbulent period. They could not find the right words for each other, and their fight turned intense; soon, they became hurt.
“We got to a place where our disagreements became argumentative, aggressive, and scary. I did not want that relationship to turn toxic, and I surely did not want it to bleed over into every other corner of my life.”
Feeling helpless, he realised he had no one in his well to speak to about this. Although all his friends were well-intentioned, they were also usually biased. Their advice was going to tip the balance on their behalf—the friends of his partner were going to support her; the friends of Kartik were going to help Kartik.
Someone needed to provide expert, balanced guidance on the subject. Then, a classmate of Kartik from NIMHANS, a psychiatrist, advised Kartik to seek professional counselling.
“She could not treat me since we were friends, but she prompted me to seek help. So, that is when I decided to sign in with YourDOST, which my company had tied up with as a partner towards the employees’ mental health.”
Kartik matched with counsellor Tulika Mukherjee. From the very first session, he sensed a shift.
“Tulika was the first person to whom I could open up unreservedly. She never judged me and listened, and that helped me ease my way into therapy. I realised I needed that unbiased, professional ear who wasn’t entangled in my personal life to help me see things more clearly.”
It was his relationship issues that pushed him to therapy. Not only did his life get messy, but her painful past and poor communication skills frustrated him. Therapy became a platform for him to process all these emotions and understand their limitations as a couple. Instead of blaming anyone, he needed to know how to work out their relationship healthily.
Tulika made Kartik experience many things that grew him from the inside. He learned about the feelings wheel and realised that emotions aren’t just the handful of extremes we all think of anger, sadness, and happiness. There’s a whole spectrum of emotions in between, and understanding those subtleties helped Kartik connect more with himself and his partner.
He also used journaling and another form called “box breathing” to be silent in his mind. However, the activities that worked were the connection exercises, which were relationship-related.
“We did a love languages test, which was a real eye-opener. It helped me understand that how I showed love wasn’t always what she needed, and vice versa. It helped bridge the gap between us.”
As Kartik continued therapy with Tulika and his other therapist on the platform, Kousalya Konila, he began seeing the changes inside him.
“I felt lighter, like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I became more at peace with myself, and that peace trickled into other areas of my life, too. I could be there for her in a way I hadn’t been before, not just as her partner but as someone who could truly understand where she was coming from.”
Though the sessions with YourDOST ended after his job contract with his company ended, Kartik is grateful for the experience.
“The only complaint I have is that the Tulika who opened the gates for me did not receive adequate thanks. Probably, I am saying it now: I regret that I couldn’t thank her for being there in my hour of need.”
Today, he rates himself 3.5 out of 5 in terms of feeling better, and improvement for him is feeling peaceful with himself. He feels more in control, at peace, and connected with himself and his partner.
Thanks to YourDOST and Tulika’s guidance, he is on this journey of self-discovery with the confidence to face whatever lies ahead today!
Kartik’s Warrior Tips:
1.“People who go through a lot sometimes lose all hope in their lives. We should all make it a point to help these people regain hope.”
2.“This can be done by professionals or even loved ones so that they do not feel alone in their life journey.”
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