Trigger Warning: suicidal thoughts, mentions of abuse
Rahul (name changed) is a student from the prestigious IIIT Bangalore. At 21, he is poised to enter the exciting tech arena and cannot wait to make inroads in the world of computers.
He comes from a family of four, including his father, mother, and younger brother. He was close to his family growing up and continues to be.
Growing up, he remembers being more interested in books and studies than most of his peers. While he thanked his childhood self for giving him the discipline he needed to be a good student, the small price he had to pay was that his fitness levels required him to improve.
” I used to be at the top of my class. But obviously, it came with a set of compromises.”
He remembers having very limited hobbies as a child. Thankfully, that has changed, as he is now a regular on the badminton court and engages in video games whenever he has free time.
He mentions growing up with a limited set of friends. However, his hard work with his academics paid off, and he found himself in one of the most prestigious institutes in the country.
During his time in college, he got into a romantic relationship, which he mentions brought to the surface some of the self-esteem issues he had experienced as a child. He describes his ex-partner as narcissistic and abusive, which had a severe toll on his mental health.
Eventually, that relationship ended, but Rahul still found himself in a negative space. He mentions feeling a void within him on most days. Rahul mentions that thoughts about suicide often follow these thoughts.
“Getting up or off my bed some days was tough for me. I remember thinking, ‘If this ended right now, it would be much easier’.”
This is when he decided to seek help. Rahul’s college had a subscription to YourDOST, and he logged into the dashboard to book a session.
He had tried the chat session option before, but it had not helped him as much. So, he decided to experiment with other features, such as calling and video calls, which he found more comfortable.
During these episodes of depression, Rahul remembers feeling very lost, and he was unable to decipher why he was doing some things. He couldn’t find the next step in his career, contributing further to his low self-esteem issues.
His counselor, Ms Sanjana, helped him navigate these feelings. She asked him to redirect some of his energy into tasks such as working out or learning an instrument, which could give him a purpose and a tangible goal to achieve.
Next, she helped him map out his interests and areas for improvement. By listing these things individually, Rahul started to feel more confident in his approach. Rahul also mentions that, through Ms Sanjana’s guidance, he was able to fix his sleep schedule, which had been quite messy for a long time.
Slowly and steadily, with these new practices, Rahul managed to work his way around the suicidal thoughts he was having. He thanks his counselor for her empathy and compassion because he believes he would not have made his way out of this pit of darkness without her support.
Rahul rates himself a 3 out of 5 in terms of feeling better!
Rahul’s Warrior Tips:
1.“You must trust the process whenever you take on a new task, especially when following the right one. The results will follow.”
2.“You need to rise above the stigma around mental health and ask for support if you need it. This will only help in the long run.”
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