“Your pain didn’t start with you, but it can end with you.”
– Stephani M Hutchins
Saima’s story is one which speaks of a journey of consciously deciding to heal from and break the cycle of generational trauma.
A young, resilient woman with a fiery drive to make a difference. Saima is a 21-year-old woman studying in Rajiv Gandhi University of Law, Patiala.
She enjoys involving herself in different hobbies such as singing, swimming, and skating. She mentions that more than just a hobby, sketching feels like her safe place.
Saima comes from a family that has lived through years of physical and mental abuse. Generational trauma refers to the kind of trauma that is passed on from generation to generation. Her father was very violent towards the family which eventually led to Saima and her mother shifting to live away from him.
“My mother did not believe in therapy. She was traumatized and all her frustration was projected onto me.”
Saima was not the first victim of abuse in her family. However, she was the only one who was open to counseling and addressing that this toxic cycle of abuse must be broken. She mentions that it took her years to convince her mother to let her begin therapy.
Even after her very first session with a psychiatrist, her mother was still not supportive of her decision.
“She thought that I wanted to start therapy because I was a rebellious teenager who wanted attention.”
Be that as it may, Saima knew that this was a battle she had to keep fighting. She developed a keen interest in reading about generational trauma and mental illness, making her extremely knowledgeable and self-aware.
It is this desire for learning more that has made Saima a more empathetic and sensitive person. She mentions that she is the person that her friends turn to when they feel like no one else might understand them.
When children come from very troubled families, they tend to feel like a burden to others around them. They are forced to grow up faster than others and might find it difficult to ask for the help they, fearing that they may be named as a misfit.
Saima mentions that she often felt like she was burdening others with her problems, and as a result, tried to be as accommodating as she could possibly be. However, she knew that she did not put herself first and it took a toll on her mental health.
Saima has always been a very strong advocate for counseling, especially with her friends in college. Hearing that some of her friends had contacted YourDOST and were very satisfied with their approach, she decided to give it a try.
After she began counseling, Saima says that finding YourDOST was one of the best things that have ever happened to her.
“My counselor, Ms. Nidhi is super amazing. She is my safe space. She just picks up on so many things and she is always so reassuring.”
It is Ms. Nidhi who helped Saima recognize her self-sabotaging patterns of behavior of constantly prioritizing others’ needs over her own. Saima, a girl who was so deeply impacted by the horrors of her home, decided to exhale the pains of her past and inhale the hope for a better future.
“Ms. Nidhi helped me realize that I need to be there for myself, first and foremost.”
Saima mentions that she feels a lot more mentally stable now and expresses her gratitude towards her counselor-
“I would not be the person that I am today without her constant guidance and support. I am very grateful to her for always being there for me.”
Saima says that she has a long way to go but she has acknowledged the process of growth that she has gone through in the last few years particularly.
As Bob Marley once said,
“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only chance you have.”
Throughout her entire life, Saima has had to be strong for herself and it is this strength that has shaped the empathetic and passionate woman that she is.
Saima rates herself a 3.5 out of 5 in terms of feeling better. She feels a lot more confident and empowered and has never once regretted beginning her journey of healing.
Saima’s Warrior Tips:
1.”It’s never too late to start getting help. Hang on and you can make the life you’ve always wanted for yourself.”
2.“Do your best to be self-aware and give counseling a chance, so you don’t end up being the reason why someone faces trauma.”
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