Being the best at something sometimes feels inadequate when we are hurt by someone close to us. The pain almost feels physical and handicaps us mentally. However, the path towards feeling better and self-improvement is a voluntary process that can only be initiated from within.
Charan is a 20-year-old B Tech student in the mechanical engineering department of NIT Calicut. The young fighter is a living testament to the ancient story of a phoenix bird rising from the ashes.
Born and raised in Andhra Pradesh, Charan had a decent childhood and shares a good relationship with his family. He calls them almost daily and shares his concerns, if any, with them.
“I love my brother a lot. Though he is the younger one, sometimes I feel he is much more mature than me.”
Charan spends his leisure time playing guitar, watching movies, playing carroms and even social media.
“I was at a low point in my life where I had suicidal thoughts and even tried self-harm. I was terrified and could not stop myself. I was feeling worthless and felt that my death wouldn’t affect anyone else. I was done being a shadow to others and needed support to validate my existence.”
Charan approached several therapists at the time but it didn’t work out. He learnt about the YourDOST platform from his college as they have collaborated with the organisation as their official mental health partner.
“I met Ms Arya on the platform and we hit it off from the first session. She was kind, patient and supportive of me, which helped me forget self-harm thoughts. I sought someone who understood and pacified me and finally found her.”
Charan was friends with a person in his classroom who was also the topper of the batch. One fine day suddenly he stopped talking to Charan. Utterly confused, he sought an explanation for the behaviour and was told it was because of his “filthy attitude.” As the boy was popular, he influenced others and they too stopped talking to Charan which profoundly disturbed him.
“I had lived in a hostel since eleventh grade and had extreme social anxiety as I was lonely. The first semester of Btech was online, and when I finally met my batchmates in person in the second semester, people did not talk to me.”
Charan felt helpless as he could not afford to lose more friends. He was stressed about his studies and examinations and all this caused his grades to start dropping. He also faced a malpractice allegation which humiliated him in front of his friends. Charan felt extremely lost and started indulging in several negative coping strategies.
“I regretted and blamed myself when somebody stopped talking to me and that caused deep wounds in my heart. I poured out my heart in front of my therapist and shared my deepest fears with her. She analysed each of my emotions and we worked on it.”
Charan was majorly struggling with three emotions which were shamefulness, anger and guilt. He did not express his anger well and had issues managing it. Ms Arya helped him understand the underlying causes of all these emotions and also helped him sleep better at night. They discussed various topics from controlling emotions to sex education.
“Ms Arya made me realise that no one is perfect. We started having a close brother-sister kind of bond and discussed everything without judgment. She helped me build confidence and prepare for interviews better. I started reading books and had a lot of positive energy build in me.”
“For the past 3 years, I used to stay in a four sharer room with no roommate. Now I have a roommate and I learned how to deal with others. I realised how important it is not to judge others and started taking more responsibility.”
Charan is now excited to face his life and take on any challenge that life throws at him. People even started appreciating him for his positive attitude and came to him for advice. He has started being more punctual and better in his studies. He has made several friends and does not feel worried about people disliking him.
Charan is grateful to Ms Arya for helping him find the path of self-improvement with therapy.
“I’m extremely glad I chose Arya as my therapist. I’m now enjoying the results of my hard work and feel light-hearted with all the positive changes in my life.”
Charan rates himself a Golden 5 on 5 for feeling better and envisions improvement to be the confidence to believe we can do anything.
We at YourDOST are glad we could help Charan find his happiness and wish him all the best for the future!
Charan’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Occasionally reading motivational quotes and analysis questions helps us understand the choices we make in life.”
2.“Believe in yourself and work towards making a better version of yourself.”
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