Adulthood is a time that has two extreme ends. On the one hand, we have complete freedom to make choices for ourselves, do things we love, and just live life on our own terms. However, on the other hand, we are no longer under the safe shelter of our guardians; we have to take care of ourselves and make major life-altering decisions, too. Mastering the complexities of adulthood is a journey that takes time, and seeking a supportive hand during these times is being kind to ourselves.
Meet Simran, a 26-year-old PhD student at the prestigious IIT Guwahati.
Simran’s father settled in Delhi long ago, so she was born and raised in the capital. She grew up in a joint family, surrounded by love and support.
“Although my grandparents are no longer with me, I treasure the memories of a happy childhood.”
Simran’s interests are as diverse as they are enriching. She has learned music and loves to sing. Drawing and reading also capture her interest, though she admits she struggles to be consistent with her reading.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Simran learned about YourDOST through her institute, which partners with the organisation as their official mental health partner. Here, she connected with Dr. Tanaya Dhok.
Simran’s initial scepticism about online counselling quickly faded as Dr Dhok explained the confidentiality and process. This transparency helped Simran feel at ease.
“Dr. Dhok’s empathy made me feel very comfortable. I found it easier to discuss things with a professional who wasn’t personally related to me.”
Last year, Simran faced a crisis with a close friend. She found it challenging to express her personal feelings and thoughts, especially when the situation was serious. This difficulty in communication strained her relationships and led her to seek help.
“My friend and I were in a bad place. There were three of us involved in a discrepancy, and none of us were talking to each other. Navigating through it became difficult.”
Simran began therapy as she wanted an outsider’s opinion on her troubles. Through her sessions, she started to open up about her issues, including her struggles with expressing emotions and the pressures of the final year of her PhD.
The smooth academic journey she had experienced from 12th grade through her Bachelor’s and MSc suddenly felt uncertain. The numerous options after her PhD left her overwhelmed, especially with the added pressure in her personal life.
“The decision-making aspect was bothering me. When everything is smooth, it’s easy. But when you reach a point where decisions really matter, it’s hard. Combining career decisions with family expectations made everything chaotic. It was affecting my focus on my work, which is crucial at this moment in my life.”
Simran’s therapy sessions introduced her to techniques to manage her stress and improve her concentration. Breathing exercises in the morning helped her start the day with a clear mind and a positive outlook. Planning her day during these exercises made her feel more organised and in control.
“Initially, concentrating was tricky because of all the thoughts. But whenever I did the exercises, I felt more clarity.”
Dr. Dhok also advised Simran to acknowledge her uncomfortable feelings and take deliberate actions to break negative thought cycles. This approach helped Simran step out of mental loops and regain focus on her routine.
“The suggestion to break the cycle and do something deliberate was important in my life. It helped me get on with my routine.”
One of the most significant positive changes for Simran was the ability to express her thoughts honestly with her therapist. This honesty, free from the fear of judgment, was something she hadn’t experienced before.
“With each person, I always felt like I was hiding something. But with my therapist, I could be completely honest. That feeling is invaluable. This honesty is something I’m trying to bring into my relationships with friends as well.”
Today, Simran feels heard without bias, which she finds essential. Her therapist’s validation of her feelings has been incredibly supportive.
“I am extremely grateful towards my therapist, as her validation that my thoughts and feelings are normal has been so comforting. I feel free to be myself with her. She has given me the space to be myself and express my thoughts. Her cheerful and positive demeanour always lifts my mood.”
Simran rates her progress at 4.5 out of 5 and views improvement as acknowledging when she’s in a bad space and taking steps to get out of it.
The YourDOST team is proud to have been a part of Simran’s incredible journey and wishes her the best in the future!
Simran’s Warrior Tips:
1.“If you take that one step, you can get into the big, bright future you deserve. Nobody deserves to be unhappy or depressed.”
2.“If you are feeling any of it, it’s completely okay. Many of us go through those situations time and again.”
3.“If you feel that you’re not able to come out of it, that is the time to realize that getting help from therapy would be the best decision.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
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