Trigger Warning: Mention of Bullying, child abuse and Suicidal Thoughts
“Helping people who are in need of emotional support is what gets me through life”, says Bala, who prefers to be called Santhosh. He is a 25-year-old practising psychologist with a master’s degree in applied psychology. He works as a learning and development professional at Equiniti India.
He works sincerely at his job while also pursuing certifications, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, performative courses, etc., in parallel with a sheer determination to make it help people.
He is a proud Chennaiite, born and brought up in the city along with his three elder sisters by his parents. He lives with his mom and two pets after his father passed away and his sisters married and moved out.
Santhosh recollects having a difficult childhood as he was bullied by the people around him, which left a scar on him. When he was as young as 5 years old, he was sexually abused by a man in his neighbourhood. While he already had questions and confusion about his wishes and ambitions, these incidents instilled an intense fear in him. The trauma was a constant nightmare in his head that was extremely painful for him.
“All these situations during my childhood made me question my existence and created low self-esteem and self-doubts in me. There was a constant evil voice in my head trying to pull me down.”
Eventually, when Santhosh started his undergraduate studies, he understood a few things about his inner self and became more aware. He also began seeking therapy to work on his fears and self-doubts.
As he finished his college studies and started working, things were looking up for Santhosh. He had a good job and was content with his service to humanity as a therapist as well. Santhosh explains that he was again faced with a downward spiral in his life due to some relationship issues with his partner.
“Relationships play a core part in my life, and having issues there felt like I was being split into pieces, and I developed paranoia. I was questioning my self-worth again.”
Santhosh explains that the situation caused a lot of stress and anxiety, for which he had to opt for medications. Going about his routine with all these depressing thoughts and emotions became hard for Santhosh. He decided to start seeking therapy again.
“I looked for a well-being partner at my company and realised it was YourDOST. Since I knew the platform when I used to look for career opportunities, I had the confidence that the experts there can help.”
Santhosh utilised his company’s employee benefits and began connecting with Ms Ananya Bhardwaj as he wanted to communicate with a female therapist. After joining the first session, Santhosh felt comfortable with Ms Ananya as she was around the same age as him, and he felt there was no pressure.
He elaborates that the conversation was fruitful, and he was looking forward to every upcoming session with her. He opened up to the therapist about the issues with his partner and how the secrets between them started ruining his mental health.
“The cobwebs of thoughts and my anxious attachment patterns were becoming a major trigger for my anxiety, and I couldn’t stop crying. There were shivers and jitters every time. It even gave me suicidal thoughts.”
Sathosh elucidates feeling less valued, which was hard for him to process. Gaining insights into the intensity of Santhosh’s issues, the counselor helped him by first validating his feelings. He explains that she was empathetic and let him pour his heart out in the sessions.
He adds Ms Ananya made Santhosh understand that despite the ups and downs, life can be beautiful if he focuses on the people who look forward to his well-being rather than the ones who hurt him. She also made him do a thought record journal to help with his emotions and guided Santhosh to be more expressive through communication.
“She told me that – to solve an issue, you should communicate, but if the communication by itself is creating another problem, then you should communicate on how to communicate. This was an eye-opener for me.”
Santhosh recollects getting new perspectives through these sessions and reassurance from his therapist. They also worked on rewiring his thoughts using cognitive reconstruction techniques. Santhosh explains that he realised he should be considerate of himself and his emotions as much as he was to other’s.
Eventually, Santhosh explains that he stopped being passive, became more assertive and vocal and took a stand for himself. He expresses that he could finally develop a sense of self after all these years. As he gained clarity and improved himself, Santhosh thanks his therapist for helping him overcome all his doubts and hesitations.
“I can proudly say that I became my own advocate, and that emptiness I felt through these phases is now filled with echoes of positive energy from these sessions.”
As Santhosh strives to learn continuously and keeps improving, he rates himself 4 out of 5 for all his progress. We are delighted to be part of his journey of discovering his resilience and are proud of him.
Santhosh’s Warrior Tips:
1.“I understand that challenges are tough in life, but just keep going and trust the process.”
2.“Take one step at a time and focus on just today for now, and you will discover a different version of yourself tomorrow.”
3.“Seek help whenever you need it.”
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